Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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