last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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