My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
