I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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