i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize