i just google imaged poop.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize