Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
