the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
