Say something about gay babies.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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