I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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