can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
