somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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