So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
