it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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