Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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