I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
