careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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