dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
