Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!