You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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