bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
