It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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