when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize