Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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