Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
