Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
