her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she told me i tasted like america
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
