My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
