Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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