we're chasing vodka with high fives
just tell him i said nine months
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
