drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
