She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
