If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
