Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
