the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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