i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
