You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
