I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
