she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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