I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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