Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
