and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
