I puked a lego.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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