im drinking this country out of the recession.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
