i permit you to call me
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
