you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
