so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
