Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
