Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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