Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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