You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
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I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
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I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.