I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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