i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize