No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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