I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
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Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize