he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
