not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
