My hand turned me down
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she told me i tasted like america
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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