My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
