Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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