I puked a lego.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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