Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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