In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
