My balls are so social today.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
