dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
