Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
