I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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